Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm Wanted by the FBI

So there I was, minding my own business and cruising around the interwebs, when my computer locked up.  I kept trying to get to my task list so that I could shut down, but nothing would happen. 

For a brief moment, my computer would jump to a screen that said Department of Justice and something about my computer being suspended at the top and then go blank. Let me tell just how fast your blood pressure can rise when you see that. Fast.

I frantically forced my computer to shut down and then I restarted. I have an active imagination, so I braced myself for the immanent busting down of my door by Kevlar vest clad FBI agents with guns.

(Now if my sexy Criminal Minds crime fighters showed up, I might be okay with that.)

Finally, my computer rebooted and the same image filled my screen. Only this time it stuck, so I was able to actually read it. It said that my computer was suspended by the DOJ for 48 hours because illegal activity was taking place. I could bypass further prosecution by immediately paying a $300 fine.

Now I don't work for the FBI- sadly, that is true despite my younger self's plans of joining the x-files division- but I'm pretty sure paying an immediate $300 fine via the web without being notified of your crime is not how due process works. I wonder how many people fall for this scam. 

So I called the Scottsdale police, who said I had to call the Phoenix police who told me I had to call the FBI cyber fraud unit. And then they gave me a disconnected number to the FBI. Your tax dollars at work, my friends.

I grabbed my lap top and immediately raced over to Best Buy where an adorable young guy stole my money in exchange for fixing my problem. (Seriously, single youngins, head over to the Paradise Valley Best Buy and ask for Aaron from the Geek Squad. He's half my age and I'm not a cradle robber, but he's awesome. And probably going to be rich one day. You're welcome.)

Apparently, this is common and they call it the FBI virus. And Best Buy has to hold my computer hostage for a week. A week! I have to blog from my phone for a week. 

Aaron told me several stories about people freaking out over this scam. One lady even drove to the FBI and demanded they unlock her computer because she hadn't committed a crime. It is a little unsettling when you first see it.

And by the way, when did it become okay to just bring your dog to Best Buy?


So that's another Public Service Announcement from yours truly. Only this  time it's probably more useful than my PSA about how not to break up with someone. (That drama is still going on by the way. Seriously, don't be shitty to your ex on the net. Just don't. It makes you look like an asshole.) Don't immediately assume you are a wanted fugitive if this happens to you.

I haven't run recently, but I did clean my kitchen. I better show it to you guys right now because it will probably be messy again by tomorrow night.

Hopefully, I'll have some sort of fitness related post soon...once I remember how to do that fitness stuff that's all the rage these days.


  1. Haha this is a great story! I would totally freak out about that too :)

    1. My heart was pounding. Now I'm more angry about how much it's costing to fix it. Grrrr

  2. I'm jealous of all that counter space.

    I love the lady that drove to the FBI to demand her computer be fixed. I want to be her friend.

    Sorry, about your computer, buddy.

    1. Seriously, I would have loved to have witnessed that lady storming into the FBI building. It's right down the street from my office that place is like a compound.

      I'm sad about my computer, but as long as I haven't lost my music files, I'll survive, lol!

  3. I love that comment "Regular backup and regular dusting". :)

    1. Yeah, I'm not so good at that, lol!


Thanks for reading!