Sunday, December 29, 2013

Signing Up For A Half In Three Weeks Means I Should Maybe Do A Long Run

I went for my first long run in probably two months last night. Thank God for my friend, Lara, otherwise I might not ever make it out running at all. She's immune to my whining, sniffling and complaining. I'm pretty good at all three of those things, so kudos to her. Also kudos to me, cuz I really wasn't feeling like leaving the sweet cocoon I made on my couch. There was a Law & Order SVU marathon on and everything. Yesterday, I signed up for the Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Half in three weeks, so maybe a run longer than 4 miles is in order, especially considering I've only got a week before I should be tapering.

I met Lara late in the afternoon and went for an 8 mile jaunt. The first 3 miles sucked. Like sucked a lot. I really need to always run longer than 3 or 4 miles because I can't seem to get into a groove until about mile 5. I suppose that's a good thing, considering I'm a distance runner, but wow. I spend those first few miles hating running, hating myself and pretty much hating life in general. I don't know that I'll ever be good at the 5K distance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really good at any distance. I'm slow even by the standards of slow runners. But I stop hating the world around mile 4 or 5, so I guess I'm meant to run distance.

In fact, when I was training with Susan Loken (the nicest lady ever and the fastest runner I know), our Team Chances coach for the 2012 NYC Marathon that never happened, she said to me, "the marathon is your distance." Something about slow twitch muscles versus fast twitch muscles. Apparently I'm a slow twitch kinda gal.

That's probably more true for the half marathon distance, but the idea of labeling myself as a runner at all, let alone a marathoner, still makes me laugh. Like I pulled one over on the world and tricked everyone into believing I'm a runner. Haha, world! Jokes on you!

I don't even mean that in a self snarking way. It just takes me by surprise sometimes that I'm an actual runner. Especially considering that my love of sitting far outweighs my love of moving. But I like going to races. They're like horse shows only everyone gets a prize and I don't stress out over them. Win, win!

Anyway, we did 8 miles. There was plenty of walking, but when we ran, we kept a pretty quick pace for me. Not for Lara, but it was speedy for me. And there was a nice sunset.

For the rest of the night, my glutes and lower back were killing me. It hurt bad enough that I actually got up a couple of times during the night to do pigeon pose yoga stretch.

Now, I'm not really into yoga. I totally should be because I can get myself all wound up and tight like a champ. But it's never appealed to me at all. Until I start hurting. Then I'm all over it. I need to add stretching to my list of resolutions for the new year.

The pigeon pose is a form of self torture that could get a prisoner to spill their guts. It hurts and feels terrible and I can barely do it. But I have to admit it works. I'm finding that a lot of joint ailments can be relieved by various stretches. Once I had some serious pain in what felt like a joint in my foot. I started stretching my calves a ton and it went away.

Oh and by the way? I look nothing like the woman in the picture when I do stretch. My hips are way too tight. I look more like I tripped and fell and now I'm stuck that way. Nobody wants to see that shit. That's another reason I don't go to yoga- I look ridiculous. I've also found that sitting cross legged really helps my hips.

Does anyone else have any amazing stretches for tight hips?

This is post is brought to you from me and my writing staff.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Hot Chocolate 5K Recap

While searching the web for information about the sizing of the hoodie you get when you run this race, I came across blog after blog after blog criticizing The Hot Chocolate Race in various cities. I was a little apprehensive about how the race would go based on what I read, but I'm happy to say that the Phoenix event is amazing and really well run.

Last year's Hot Chocolate Race is my only DNS. The race happens to be the morning after our barn Christmas party. The race is a 5K or 15K. Last year, I signed up for the 15K, proceeded to drink way too much and then decided, hell no, I'm not dragging myself out for a 9 mile run.

Only one or two glasses into the evening.
I knew a 15K was out of the question this year.

For some reason, we always end up visiting the horses in our formal attire.

This year, I was smart. I signed up for the 5K, knowing that I could walk the 5K and not be too miserable. The main reason I wanted to do this race was the sweet hoodie. Plus, it was about $40 to enter the 5K with the same swag. Sold!

First of all, the expo was a breeze. If I hadn't been sidetracked by sparkly shiny things, I could have been in an out of there in a few minutes.

See? A breeze. No crowds.
Just in case someone has stumbled across this blog hoping to find out the sizing of the hoodie, I say that they run big. The hoodies come packaged nicely in a plastic wrapper and they ask you not to open them, but to use theirs to try on so that if you have to exchange yours, the original is still packaged nicely. I wish I had known that up front because I was wearing a thick pull over sweat shirt and nothing (but a bra, of course!) underneath so there was no way I could try my size to make sure it was right.

Mine ended up too big. The sleeves are pretty long. They're the style with the thumb holes, so they are supposed to be long, but these seem really long. Otherwise, it's really nice and good quality. Best race "shirt" I've gotten so far!

A nice hoodie, a shoe bag and a travel mug for a 5K?
Totally worth getting up for.

There was a mini expo set up, as well, and that was a lot more crowded.

Still not too bad.

Also, the merchandise for race specific gear was amazing. I would have gone a little crazy on merch if I was running a longer distance than 5K. Pay attention, NYRR, run Disney and Rock 'n' Roll! This stuff was really nice. I wouldn't mind owning some of it with the NYCM logo on it.

There were racks and racks of really high quality items.
I also purchased my first Sweaty Band. Oh em gee, I'm in love. I wore it all day and it never slipped once. I'm going to need about 20 more of these. Tara got the yellow daisy one at the Disneyland Half Expo while I was waiting in the most ridiculous line ever at the expo and I was jealous that I didn't have one. Well, my life is complete now that I have one in pink.

You totally want one, right?

So yes. This expo was a breeze and I got some sweet goodies. And just like I knew we would, we drank way too much to consider this an actual race. So from the beginning I knew I was going to walk it. Blake and Lara actually ran it, but luckily for me, I ran into Tara and we used our 3.1 mile stroll to catch up. We've only seen each once since Dumbo Double Dare weekend and that was to volunteer at Iron Man Arizona.

Corrals, obviously

It was pretty cold for Phoenix

My one complaint about this race is that the route is really not scenic at all. That's why I've only done R'n'R Arizona once (Although, it looks like I'm doing it in January). Phoenix just isn't that entertaining to run through. But for all of the swag and a cheap entry for the 5K, I could suck it up. Plus, I wasn't paying attention to the scenery, anyway. I was gossiping with Tara.

Once you cross the finish line, you can head over to the tent to get your finisher's mug. They refer to it as a collector's mug, but honestly, I would never use it again. It's not a real mug and it's sectioned into parts. However, the chocolate fondue that was in the mug was truly delicious. I wish they had given out spoons because I didn't have enough things to dip into the fondue to use it all up.

Breakfast of champions. There's way more calories in this mug than I burned.
Me, Blake and Lara
M&M t-shirts made by Lara
I would totally do this race again. I'm sure that our Christmas party will fall on the same weekend next year, so look for me moseying along at a stroll on the 5K course nursing a hang over like a serious athlete. You can't really buy a nice hoodie for $40, so it's worth it just for that. Just remember it runs big and to wear a thinner shirt to try it on at the expo.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Marching To The Beat Of My Own Drum While Keeping Up With The Joneses

I'm always feeling torn about the reality of blogging and what it means to me. I'm equal parts March To The Beat Of My Own Drum and Keeping Up With The Joneses. And yes, I had to Google the proper form of Joneses. (I also originally wrote "marching to the tune of my own drummer". Good thing I Googled that, too, or we could add idiot to my list.)

My blog started off as a running blog, recapping all of my races. Then I started added other random things. Then it got more random. Then I tried to direct myself back to running and fitness. Then I got bored with myself. I mean, seriously. How many times can I tell you about the miles I've run or didn't run or what I ate for dinner, which isn't gourmet or photo worthy. But others do it and they do it successfully, so what do I know?

I suppose the point of a healthy living/fitness/running blog is to inspire others and/or chronicle one's journey to meeting some sort of goal, be it weight loss or marathon training or any number of things in between.

Here's some honest truths about myself that are lacking in the motivational department:

1. I like watching TV. I like watching TV more than I like running or exercising of any kind. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit around all day doing nothing. I'm a single woman that works to pay a mortgage and an expensive horse addiction. I ride almost every day before work and then I work a regular job like anyone else. When I leave my office, I do not want to run. I want to make a beeline for my couch and plant my ass there and guzzle down some wine. (I don't always guzzle wine, but I want to.) Besides, I just discovered The Blacklist, and seriously, if you are not watching that show, you should drop everything you are doing and watch all of the episodes thus far. You will thank me, I promise.

Am I even allowed to post this image? Do I have to source it?
Someone help me before I get myself sued!

2. I keep losing the same 10 pounds over and over and over. I initially lost 20 pounds in my first year of running and have since gained and lost 10 of those like a zillion times. That's lame, I can admit it. And annoying. And here's where I have trouble calling myself a healthy living blogger. Mainly because I'm not all that healthy. I eat weird things and usually way too much of it. It would help if I ran more, but I don't really like running. Should we talk more about The Blacklist?

3. I have a really hard time censoring myself. I love Disney races and I love dropping the F bomb. These things do not mix well, right? I find myself constantly censoring what I want to say because Disney tends to bring out the wholesome bunch and my rD inspired posts and recaps tend to bring the most page hits (although I can name several run Disney besties with just as foul mouths as mine, right Team Freedom?) but shouldn't I just write what I want to write and say fuck it? Whew! That felt good. We'll see how that pans out.

4. I'm torn between my Keeping Up With The Joneses side and Marching To A Different Drum side. I see lots of bloggers getting sponsored for things and getting products to try and I immediately think, Hey! I wanna do that, too! But then what do you do when you hate a product? Is it worth it? Do I even want to do that? Do I want to start my blog entries stating it is a sponsored post? Also see number 3. Sponsors probably don't want you to review a post by using profanity. Unfortunately, that's my favorite way to communicate. Also, I'm good with conveying messages via a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Although, I would totally review this unicorn hat.
Because it is awesome.

So there you have it. I haven't given up on running or blogging or anything like that. I still like racing. And to race, you must run at least a little. (Although through an anecdotal personal experiment, I can confidently report that it is possible to finish half marathons on very little training.) I really don't want to be one of those bloggers that never improves, but I'm human and I already have an extremely time consuming sport. So it is what it is.

And just to be oppositional to all that I just wrote, I'm signing up for Janathon. I keep threatening saying I'm going to sign up every year, and then never do. At least it will give me something to write about and force me to exercise every single day in January. All of you dedicated runners should check it out. It's running and blogging! Who wants to join me?

Also, I decided to sign up for Rock 'n' Roll Arizona in 3 weeks. And I've only 3 run 39 miles in 2 months. That should go swimmingly! But the medal is pretty cool.

Headphones! And they finally did away with the plain neck ribbons.

More importantly, who else is watching The Blacklist? Let's discuss.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Change Is Hard

Change ain't easy, folks. The last I chatted with you lovely readers (if I have any left), I was challenging myself to a one year transformation, blah, blah, blah.  I didn't write about this, but I also challenged myself to run 1000 miles before next year's NYC Marathon. The timer started the weekend of this year's NYCM. Let's just say that's not going swimmingly.

What a rock star. It's taken me 7 weeks to run
the Goofy Challenge.
I have gone running twice this week, so that's something. I could make a million excuses, but the truth of the matter is that work is insane this time of year and I've got a family member with some serious health issues that has been taking up all of my energy. Also, I just haven't had the desire to get out there.

Look! Proof of me running. Well, it's proof I was
out in nature. Close enough.
I've also sat down to blog several times in the last few weeks but couldn't bring myself to so that, either. Part of the problem is that I don't really have anything to write about. It sucks when you realize you're not as entertaining as you think you are. Bah humbug.

Can you believe I only did 2 half marathons in 2013? One was part of Goofy Challenge and the second was part of Dumbo Double Dare. I think I'm going to do the half marathon at Rock 'n' Roll Arizona in January and then I'm doing Glass Slipper Challenge in February, which I'm crazy excited about. First of all, I'm going to WDW with WDW newbies and I get to see this girl. And we're staying for almost a week, so I can really see everything. Last time I was there for Goofy Challenge, we never even made it to Animal Kingdom or Hollywood Studios. We were just too trashed after the marathon.

I still need to do a recap of the Hot Chocolate Race, which was awesome. Not because I was a running rock star, because that sure as hell wasn't the case, but because the race itself was great with great swag. Any the chocolate was crazy good. I know that race has gotten a lot of bad publicity, more the Phoenix event is amazing. More on that later.

In closing, here is picture of my adorable cats. The baby is bigger than Mommy Cat now.

Monday, November 11, 2013

National Veterans Day Run 11K

So, it turns out I'm actually getting faster! I'm telling you that up front because this race was so small, that when we gathered at the start line, I thought to myself, there's a really good chance I could come in dead last.

The National Veterans Day Run is a series of races put on in more than 40 cities across the country on the same day. The Phoenix race took place at the state capitol yesterday morning. I haven't done this race before, but it seemed like something fun and a little different to try, so I signed up.

I had no idea what to expect or what parking might be like, so me and my friends, Lara and Blake, headed down to the capitol building early Sunday morning. When we got there, parking was so easy that I thought maybe we weren't in the right area. We pinned on our bibs at the car and then wandered toward the capitol building.

Hey, there's Marines off in the distance!

Sunday also happened to be the 238th birthday of the Marine Corps. Every year, a group of retired Marines gathers at the capitol where they have a ceremony and the state lets them fly their flag below the American flag for the day.

Lara and Blake posing with the Marines
Blake is a Marine veteran, so they let him stand in with the group during the flag raising, which was really cool.

Very cool to watch


Yours truly

Since we decided to hang around and watch the raising of the Marine Corps flag, I was getting concerned that we might miss the start of the race. I had watched runners heading across the "mall" area of the capitol complex for the start ceremony. I didn't need to be concerned because I noticed that the runners were now heading our direction for the start.

I should have taken a picture of just how few runners there actually were. I guessed less than 100, but it turns out that there were 124 finishers. The smallest race I have run to date was the Havasu Half in 2011 which had about 2000 runners. The thing about really small races is that they tend to bring out the local, faster runners. I figured I would just suck it up and hope I wasn't last.

Lara and Blake

The course was two 3.4(ish) mile loops around the capitol buildings. There were two water stops total. The scenery was cool, but small races like this don't tend to bring out much in the way of crowd support. I cruised along listening to my iPod and just decided to push myself. My A goal for 1:20, my B goal was 1:25 and my C goal was 1:30. I'm happy to report that my time ended up 1:20:43. I'll take it!

I know that's not a fast time, but I was hoping to maintain a running pace of under 12 mi/min and I managed to do that. I did have to stop and stretch my hips several times because I could feel them squawking quite bit. I also walked through the water stops and walked more than I would have liked in the last mile. All in all, though, I felt pretty good cruising along at an 11:30 to 11:40 pace.

It turns out I was not dead last, but pretty close. I ended up 107th out of 124. It's a good thing I have a sense of humor about my lack of speediness as a runner.

After the race, we wandered around the monuments in the mall.

There were statues for all of the Bill Of Rights

Mast of the USS Arizona

By the time we were done walking around, the finish line of the race had been entirely dismantled. All in all, I enjoyed this race. Being such a small one, parking was a breeze and everything ran very smoothly. And there were even medals!

Plus, it was kind of fun to run in a race that was also taking place in a bunch of cities all over the country.

Check it out next year if your city is on this map!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Today Is The Day It All Begins

In one year, I get to run the New York City Marathon. I'm writing this while watching the coverage of yesterday's race and I can not wait. With the cancellation of the 2012 race, I chose 2013 to be my year. And then I ended up deferring my 2013 entry.

At first, I was really disappointed not to be running in 2013. After a tough year in the running community with the cancellation of the NYCM and the bombing at the Boston Marathon, I was looking forward to experiencing running NYC with the amazing energy of runners coming together from all over the world to run a great course. Plus, I got a taste of what it might feel like at the finish line last year, I can't wait to experience it for real.

It's going to be magical.
I've heard that the NYCM is the race of a lifetime. So while I was disappointed not to be running this year, I came to the conclusion that since I've been given another entire year to train for it, I really want to be ready. I trained pretty consistently last year, but it could have been better. And this year...well, I trained, but definitely did not get enough long runs in.

So this is going to be my year to really buckle down and improve myself as a runner. Rather than waiting for New Year's, what better way to end a year of training than at the finish line of the New York City Marathon? I'm not sure how many times I will be able to run the NYCM. If I only get one shot, I want to make sure I'm actually at my best and really soak in every minute of it.

I want an NYCM medal I get after actually
crossing the finish line.

On another note, I also scored my highest official score ever this last weekend with my horse. Seems like a great way to kick off my year of transformation, right?

Horse Show Life

Congratulations to everyone that crossed the finish line in NYC yesterday!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

So You Wanna Be A Distance Runner

If you are one of those naturally speedy runners that looks good in lycra, gets excited at the mere thought of going for a 15 mile run or was able to run a sub two hour half on your first try, this post is probably not for you.

Actually, if you fit that description, you are probably not reading this blog in the first place. You are most likely a completely different caliber of athlete and I commend you. But I'm certainly not that girl....yet. But it might be in my future.

I was never a runner. I never played sports in school. I was a drama nerd and horse crazy. Even though riding takes a lot of strength and stamina (drama takes no strength whatsoever unless you count emotional fits as a work out) so when I randomly announced to my family that I was running a half marathon, they thought I had gone insane.

To be honest, pretty much the only reason I signed up for a half marathon was because a friend of mine said she was running the Disneyland Half Marathon. What?!? There were races at my favorite place?! What could be better?!

So I went home and immediately signed up the 2010 Disneyland Half  Marathon. Never mind that I had never run a race of any distance ever nor was a even a casual runner. I don't think I could even run to the mailbox without taking a walk break.

I signed up in April (can you believe it didn't sell out until sometime in the summer then?) and had never run more than a mile.

I wish I had been blogging back then. I was training for my first half in miserable AZ heat and truly wondered if I would be able to finish on race day.

Since then, I've run a whole lot of half marathons and one full marathon and I can pretty much say without lying that...I still don't love running. I'd rather be on my couch with my cats. Plus, there's a shit ton of good TV on these days.

I mean, seriously. How cute are they?

Now don't get me wrong, when I'm really dedicated in my training, I get a little obsessive about running. I also know that there are plenty of newbie runners that seem naturally gifted at running and I know there are plenty of really fast runners that also enjoy the "fun" races.

This post is for those of you that are like me: never thought about running until somebody dangled a golden ticket in front of your nose. And for me that golden ticket was running through the Magic Kingdom. And then suddenly you realize that golden ticket had morphed into something else.

I've been in a running and blogging slump for awhile now and that became very clear during and after Dumbo Double Dare. My life has changed for the better in the last year and therefore, it took me awhile to realize that my running wants and goals had changed as well. I no longer feel this insane need to sign up for every race that comes my way, but to stretch my comfort zone as a runner.


I've read several posts lately by other bloggers being in a blogging and/or running slump. Here are a few things I've learned on my running journey thus far:

1.) Don't let anyone convince you that you are not a "real runner". Yes, there are runners out there that are super snobby about running and would never dare toe the start line of a Disney race, much less wear a costume. Lucky for me, all of the runners I've met have been very cool and supportive of fellow runners, fast and slow alike.

2.) Everyone has different reasons for running. When I first started running, I was in a weird and unhappy place in my life. Running was something I did that I kept low pressure. I didn't care that I was slow. I could complete 13.1 miles and it was something I never thought I could do. I'm not saying that people shouldn't have goals, I just think that it's okay to run for whatever makes you happy. If you enjoy going for a slow jog, then don't let other people convince you that you should do anything other than what you want to do with your running.

3.) Don't compare yourself to other runners. Luckily for me, I had more non running friends than running friends when I first started running. Therefore, my friends were super impressed when I ran my first half. They thought I was crazy, but they were happy for me. They didn't ask me what my time was because they were so focused on the fact that I ran 13.1 miles. I'm grateful for that.

4.) If you want to run that marathon, but you think that you can't. You can. Yes, I've only finished one marathon. But it was under really crappy conditions, the day after running a half and I was under trained. If you don't want to, well, hey, you're probably the smart one here. If you do, but think you can't, well, you can. (Wow, I seem to be using a lot of commas today...and most likely incorrectly. C'est la vie.)

We look happy, but all three of us were crying.
But we are all marathoners.

5.) Most of all, run to be healthy and happy. If qualifying for Boston is your goal, train for it. If you want to jog with your dog for fun, do it. Do what you want. You don't have to explain anything to anyone and your reasons are just fine.

For the first time, I actually want to train to become a better runner. Things in my life are pretty good right now. I'm happy and I no longer need running as a form of escape. But I really think I needed these last few years to experience all of the fun races and have a good time. I've made some great friends and had a blast. Plus, I really need some new things to blog about. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Trail Tuesday - The Benefits of Running Up A Mountain

In my quest to become an improved and more dedicated runner, I've been trying to get out to run even when I don't have a lot of time. I've been running the mountain trail with my friend, Lara, on Tuesday nights for a few months. The problem is that it's getting dark so much earlier, so there's not a lot of time to get in much more than 3-4 miles. Now usually, that would give me an excuse not to go at all, but there's only a couple of more weeks left before I won't have any time at all before it's dark, so I'm taking advantage of it while I can.

Plus, the views are amazing.
I only managed to do 3.36 miles before it got dark, but every little bit counts. This trail is particularly rocky. All sorts of very colorful words fly out of my mouth every time I nearly break my foot on a rock.

The bonus to running on really uneven ground is that it actually strengthens muscles and joints that I hadn't realized needed strengthening. For example, when I first started running this particular trail, I swear, the muscles in my feet would fatigue. I would feel strain in spots that I hadn't previously felt any, like the arches of my feet. My ankles also felt really wobbly on that terrain. I'm happy to report that my feet and ankles feel so much stronger over all.

Easy to twist an ankle out here.
The other plus to running the mountain trail is that you get in a bunch of hill repeats without running the same hill over and over. And the scenery is a lot better.

I'm glad that I've been hitting this mountain trail, even though it sucked terribly to be out running it over the summer at 5:30 at 100+ degrees. But it really has paid off in increasing my speed from snail pace to turtle pace and strengthening my legs.

I've been doing some research on other ways to get faster like increasing my stride turn over and doing intervals. It's hard to put those to use on the trail, since the ground is so uneven and rocky. So I'll post more on that later after more experimenting on regular roads.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Run Chatting on Twitter and Hitting Up The Trails

Have you ever participated in #runchat or #runDisneyChat on Twitter? I've done it a couple of times now and it's really fun. I've found new people to follow and gained new followers each time I've done it. If you're a #runchat newbie, check it out, it's kind of cool. Questions are posted by the host(s) and then people reply and add #runchat or #runDisneyChat. (They're two separate chats, just to confuse things for you!) Anyway, it's pretty cool.

As for getting out of my rut, I actually managed to get in 3 runs this week! I know that's not really a lot for pretty much every other runner out there, but for me that's an accomplishment these days. I had been feeling pretty burnt out for awhile and I'm trying to get myself back into the groove of actually being a dedicated runner.

I met my friend, Lara, for a long run early Saturday morning. The sun is rising much later these days and we underestimated how early we needed to start.

Squishy Moon

It was surprisingly chilly, too. Last year at this time it was much, much warmer. The moon set was gorgeous, though. It's a good thing a like to take pictures when I run...

Looks like a picture from Africa or something!

I mentioned previously that I would really like to work on my speed. My advice? Find someone that runs faster than you and is a Nazi about running. That will do the trick. We ran 7 miles at least 30-60 seconds faster per minute. It was a tough run, but the good news is that I was able to actually keep running at that faster pace for much longer stretches and I took way fewer walk breaks. I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

I've also been reading and researching ways to improve my running. Since I ended up deferring my 2013 NYC Marathon until 2014, I don't want to have regrets when I toe that start line next year. I don't see a whole lot of full marathons in my future, and the NYCM is pretty damn big deal, so I want to do something different: actually be at my best. I know, I know, what's gotten into me? I hardly recognize myself! There's a story here, but I'll save that for a future blog post.

I feel really good and hopeful about my run yesterday. It felt tough, but I didn't feel like I was going to die while I was out there, so that's a plus. I also took my boy, Lou, on the trail, too. Lucky for him, we just took a leisurely stroll.

Trail time!
Sporting my Ragnar shirt.
I also downloaded some new music. I know some people hate Pitbull, but I love his stuff for running. I love this song. I listened to it on repeat on Thursday night when I went out for a quick 4 miler. It's dirty and totally annoying and awesome.

You're welcome.