While I'm a little Disneyed out, I'm sad to be going home. Right now, I'm sitting at John Wayne airport in SoCal waiting for my flight.
Over all, we had a really fun time. I finally got my PR after more than a year and a half of races, which was fabulous!
I've been traveling A LOT since I started running races, not to mention a few fun trips thrown in like spending 8 days in New York last summer and there's a consistent feeling of anxiety that plagues me every time I head home.
I think it's safe to assume that if you suffer from anxiety like I do and your anxiety subsides every time you leave town, then maybe some life changes need to happen.
First, I'm thinking I need to learn to be more present. I'm really bad at getting myself stuck in the past or fretting about the future. One day at a time, right? Things just tend to pile on and I start to get overwhelmed instead of just breaking things down into smaller increments.
Second, I'm without animals for the first time in my life. My dog and cat both passed away in the last year an a half and I had to retire Bam Bam, the wonder pony, which was not only really upsetting and depressing, but also came with a new set of worries as I had to let go of him and trust that he would be happy.
I haven't gone searching for new house pets, yet, because I worry about the expense. Not to mention that I'm now in the market for a new show horse and that ain't cheap!
Third, I think there's something to be said for the feeling of well being that comes with being on love. Maybe my brain is still in the Disney sphere of fairy tale realities, but I'm happy when I have someone special in my life.
I've lived on my own for most of my adult life, so settling down with someone would definitely be a change of pace for me. But I think I would be happier. But you never know, break ups are horrible, too. I'm assuming it is worth the risk, or Match.com wouldn't have so much business. Maybe having someone beside you at night is worth all of the drama to find "the one".
The trick is actually taking the risk, which I can make into the scariest thing on the planet. But I think it's time to put on my big girl panties and stop being such a chicken.
Fourth, I need some organization. And like everything else, if I break it down into smaller increments, it won't be so overwhelming. I'm constantly running around from work to the barn to the gym, etc, and it's amazing I get anywhere with my head still attached.
I would hate to have to cut into my blog reading or Pinterest obsession but sacrifices need to be made.
Maybe by blogging about it, I can get the job done. What do you think? I welcome any and all advice. I'm a moron when it comes to dating and my house is a disaster. Someone help me!
Life's too short to be unhappy or stressed. I need to make some changes. Stay tuned for updates. The next time you hear from me, I will be home!
By the way, according to the Disney personality test, I'm most like Lady from Lady and The Tramp. Hrrmph. I was hoping for Belle or Ariel. I would be a great Disney girl!