Monday, September 8, 2014

Why I'm Not Quitting My Day Job

Training for a marathon simultaneously makes you feel like the world is crushing your very soul while also making you think that you have super powers.

Often while I'm out pounding the pavement, my brain starts concocting these grandiose ideas such as, I know! I'll become a famous best selling author!

I blame this phenomenon on the fact that I often listen to dramatic soundtrack music while I'm running and create all sorts of amazing scenes in my head. I get all into my own thoughts and have these incredible story arcs that are brilliant and artistic.

So I trot along getting all excited at my own amazingness. I mean, I'm going to write the next big thing! Look out Hunger Games and Harry Potter! There's no reason I can't write something that thrilling, right? (For young adults, mind you. I know my limits)

Then I use the remainder of my run spending my future millions on horses and travel. Life is going to be the bombdiggity once I'm a billionaire living in Malibu.

But then the universe shifts and splits and some sort of other dimensional phenomenon takes place where one of three things always happens as soon as I walk through the front door:

  1. I realize my lap top is upstairs in my bedroom. So, theoretically, I could be on my way to greatness, but there's like 20 stairs and the TV is right here in front of me. I'll start my greatness tomorrow.
  2. I actually fetch the laptop and even turn it on (overachiever, right here!). I get ready to purge all of my creativity into a Word file and I literally find that what I'm seeing in my brain will just not appear on my screen. It's like I suddenly am incapable of stringing together two sentences without sounding like a dropped out of school in 6th grade.
  3. I turn on my lap top, sit down to write and then realize, I'm basically stealing plot lines from teenager shows on the WB. *big huge dramatic sigh of defeat*

So yeah, I currently am not doing any actual writing, I just create awesome stuff in my mind that someone else has already made millions with and then can't actually produce anything. I'm a talented person trapped in an untalented body. #firstworldproblems

Edited to fix a few typos. I can't imagine why I'm not famous, yet!





  1. Haha, I love this post. I thought that way once too ( although in my dream my book didn't actually make millions, I just see it on the shelf at Barnes n Noble..haha). I guess I need to dream a little bigger!

    1. Seeing your book at B&N would be pretty amazing, too. And since I'll be a millionaire without an 8 to 5 job, I would also have plenty of time to do book signings there, as well. ;)

  2. Never have considered myself much of a writer, but you could definitely write a book....your humor makes all your posts so entertaining. remind me which marathon you are training for?

    1. Aw, thank you! That's so nice of you! Maybe it'll happen one day!

      I'm training from NYC!!! I'm super excited but also getting into that phase where I'm starting to panic about not training hard enough... I'm sure it'll be incredible, regardless!

  3. My brother has had a lot of success with self publishing novels. He's got two series going with two books each. Neither in a genre I really care for, but he's made about 3x what he makes in his regular job in the last two years just with book sales. Then my mom says to me, "Well, 'you' could write a book." Yeah, I could if I had an idea and a story and characters that aren't the half-baked fantasies in my head. I was great at research papers in college and writing job descriptions and memos in corporate America. Making up stories and writing dialogue, not so much. I hear you on chasing originality. It isn't easy.

    1. Wow, really? That's super cool. I know NOTHING about self publishing since I don't have anything to publish, but that's pretty impressive that your brother is doing so well at it!


Thanks for reading!