A Running Story

It probably doesn't seem like it, but I have been actually running. I just haven't blogged about it. I mean, how many times can I blog about how I dragged my sorry ass out to run, it was hot, I was miserable, the end?

Last week, I met my friend, Lara, at this mountain trail we run usually once a week. I will preface this little story by saying that if it weren't for Lara, I would get pretty much no running done at all. I do tend to get super cranky toward the end of our runs because if you've ever run with someone much faster and in better shape than you, then you know how hard it can be to keep up, even when that person is slowing themselves down for your sake. So, thank you, Lara! You're my running rock, or as I affectionately like to call her- an alien billy goat.

Pretty much...

I fully believe that Lara is impervious to pain, heat, and bad attitudes, which I can fully appreciate...as long as I'm not suffering. But I'm always suffering on runs because I hate running. But I like racing and I have to do a few training runs occasionally to pretend like I'm an athlete.

So anyway, last week, we met at the mountain. I hadn't done any running for a week and a half prior to that when on a 10 miler, we were attacked by vicious Mosquitos in the middle of the desert. Shouldn't that be illegal? I mean, it's the desert for sobbing out loud. I could practically feel the West Nile Virus attacking my cells.

The mountain trail is 4 miles out and 4 miles back, but I have a hard time doing the full 8 miles before it gets dark. I have no problem running in the dark, per se, but I do have a problem with the horrible footing, which Lara prances over like a magical unicorn, and the possibility of rattle snakes. More on the snakes later.

The first mile of that trail is steadily uphill and a total bitch, because you feel winded before you've barely started. Lara asked me, as she always does, "how far do you want to run today?"

My standard answer is 5 or sometimes even 6. The problem is that if you decide to go 6 miles, the last hill is to the turn around is brutal. I'm not capable of running up it. I pretty much crawl up it, huffing and puffing and cursing Lara. So in an effort to avoid that scenario, I always bring my iPod and cheerfully tell Lara, she can run ahead and it won't hurt my feelings. Then I can plod along like the slug that I am and post pictures on Instagram, which is the real reason why anyone runs in the first place.

So much for not running in the dark.

So, pretty much every run on the mountain goes something like this:

Lara: How far do you want to run?

Me: four, maybe five miles. (I try to keep her expections low)

Lara: Okay. (She likes to pretend she's okay with my answer.)

Somewhere around mile two:

Lara: Are you sure you don't want to do six?

Me: I'm good with five, but it's fine if you want to run ahead.

Lara: how about we run to 2.5 miles, then I'll go on and do 3 while you just walk in that direction and I'll catch you on the way back.

Me: hrmph, fine. But I'm not doing that horrible hill up to mile three.

Lara: (no answer)

When we hit the 2.5 mile mark where she was going to run ahead...

Lara: I know, how about we take a different route back that is more downhill and more direct?

Me: okay, but I'm not doing that hill.

Somewhere close to 3 miles in, I realize I'm halfway up that fucking hill.

Me: Damn it, Lara!!! I said I'm not doing this hill.

Not only did I have to make it to the top of that God forsaken hill, we had to climb even higher to get to the trail to take us back.

I was pretty cranky at this point. Now, I'm a big enough person to admit that it's probably good for me, blah, blah, blah, but I didn't get my way, which is the real crime here.

Me: NO MEANS NO, LARA!

Lara: You're being dramatic.

Anyhoo, I survived, but I'm sure I was unpleasant to be around. Also, we ran into a rattle snake. At first, I thought it was the cicadas getting really loud as they tend to do when it's going to rain, but nope. It was a rattlesnake, rattling away at us and letting us know we were not wanted. I can't remember the last time I had a scare like that. And as much as I would have loved to Instagram that sucker, even I have my limits.

And they lived happily ever after, until the next run during which, I also complained the entire time.

The end.

 

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How To Keep Yourself Entertained On A Long Run

As runners, we find motivation in many different ways. Recently, I considered downloading audio books to listen to for those really long Saturday runs while I'm training for the NYC marathon. Mind you, I have yet to actually complete a super long run this summer because I like living on the edge and figure I'll somehow cram for marathon training much like I crammed for tests in high school, but I hear people do complete long training runs. Some people do it without any entertainment, which I can not even fathom. I'm considering downloading Divergent (should that be italicized or underlined? Any English majors out there?) for tomorrow morning.

But then I got to thinking that I probably need to be even more creative with my running routes because just running in any old pattern is for ROOKIES. I should map out some really cool route so when I look at my completed run on Runkeeper, I have a nice design like a heart or a flower. Or maybe Super Mario.

Impressive

OR A PENIS. Yep, that's right. That's a thing the cool kids are doing right now. My friend, Amber, sent me an article about a woman that likes to make drawings on her Nike+ app. You should check out her tumblr for more pictures.

I mean, who doesn't want to draw a penis when they run?

I gotta go. I have to map out a run for tomorrow that may or may not include male genitalia.

 

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Race Challenges and Why I've Decided I Don't Wanna Play

I've done 3 races challenges so far: 2013 Goofy Challenge, 2013 Dumbo Double Dare and 2014 Glass Slipper Challenge. I did not enjoy a single one of these events.

Don't get me wrong, in theory, they sound amazing and fun. The problem is that if those challenges happen to fall on, say, a really hot race weekend, you have not one, but at least two miserable days of racing. Your chances of having crappy race weather is exponentially higher at Disney World than Disneyland, but Disnelyland Half Weekend's weather has been crappy for the last two years, so there you go.

Yesterday, I was feeling all bummed that I chose to only sign up for the half during Star Wars Weekend. I did this on purpose, but suddenly the fact that I was only doing one race that weekend had me all sad. Then I remembered how effing miserable I was during Glass Slipper Challenge and I figured I had made a good choice.

This was after the 10K at GSC. Do I look happy?

I distinctly remember while running both of these races during GSC weekend that I had decided I was so over race challenges. Especially at Disney. You have to get up at 2 something in the morning multiple days in a row and be careful not to be on your feet too much at the parks.

But doing challenges gets you extra medals, shirts and bragging rights. It's gotten to the point where if you choose to participate in just one race, people start slipping into "you only did the half?" type of thinking. Myself included.

I mean, who doesn't want these beauties?

As of right now, I don't have any half marathons on the calendar until Star Wars, and that will be my 20th half. I think I'd really like to get a shiny new PR for my 20th half rather than say I did the challenge. I don't feel particularly proud of the challenge accomplishments because I end up with mediocre performances for two races rather than just doing one and doing it well.

Someone please remind me I wrote this when I'm crying into my Cheerios (gluten free, of course) about only getting one medal and shirt. Remind me how much GSC sucked ass because I could literally see the humidity in the air. And how hard it was to do my first full the day after a half because I wanted to do Goofy.

Abby, Ronda and me after the WDW marathon.

Finishing the full is still one of the coolest things I've ever done. The tears in the picture are more about becoming a marathoner than completing Goofy.

I'm not saying I'll never do another challenge, but for now, I'm done.

 

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Blogging From The Sky

I know it has been awhile since I last blogged. Life has been crazy. Not a good excuse, really, but an excuse none the less.

Right now, I'm 30,000 miles in the air on board a flight from Spokane, WA. Pretty much, I got to spend the weekend in Coeur d'Alene, ID, on a work trip that was like 99% fun.

Just cruising around Lake Coeur d'Alene.

I think part of the reason for not blogging as much is that I haven't been racing a lot. Since I got Louie The Wonder Pony two summers ago, I've really cut down my racing to focus on horse showing and it's really paid off.

Not the best quality picture...

Oh, and I had a seriously brief romance, as well. Maybe I'm just getting old, but at my age, if the guy ain't right, I'm not doing it. Or him. You get the picture. I think 6 weeks (or was it 5?) is my briefest romance, yet. I really tried to make it work out, but I just wasn't into it. Maybe I'm just too used to being on my own. Also, starting a romance while marathon training in the summer is a recipe for disaster. I'm too tired on Saturday nights to stay up late.

I do have the NEW YORK FREAKING MARATHON on the horizon! And that is certainly blog worthy, but I don't know how many times I can blog about running in horrid Arizona heat. I'll get more excited as it gets closer. I want to soak in every single minute of it because I've heard it's the marathon of all marathons.

108* in this picture.

I'm considering downloading audio books for the really long runs. Has anyone else done this? Does it keep you entertained enough to keep going? I've never downloaded an audio book before. I don't even know how to do it, to be honest. iTunes?

 

 

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Victoria's Secret Sports Bra

Yay! So exciting!

I received this Victoria's Secret sports bra and socks to try free of charge. I was not compensated for my opinion but cool free stuff is still cool free stuff, and thus, I must declare it. So, yay for my free stuff. I also received a free cat-approved box, but I don't think I have to declare that. Opinions are my own.

Kitteh approved.

Awhile back, I signed up at Influenster and then promptly forgot about it. A few weeks ago, I received an email survey from them and found out that I was eligible for the Victoria's Secret voxbox. Um, yes please!

I have a long history of wearing craptastic sports bras. I used to actually wear a regular bra and then a sports bra over it because I couldn't find sports bra that was supportive enough to keep the girls from bouncing all over the place.

During the Disneyland Half Marathon last summer, I had to buy a sports bra at the expo because I completely forgot to pack any. I lucked out and managed to find an amazing one, but I have yet to find another.

So I was pretty excited to get this pink package in the mail!

The socks were a cool surprise.

I would have had a hard time writing a glowing review of this product if I didn't like it, so thank God this is a really excellent bra. I wore it running over the weekend and it was great. I won't horrify you by posting a picture of me wearing just the bra because no one should be subjected to that.

Even the picture looks like it is sweating. Welcome to the desert.

This particular model is the Incredible and I genuinely like it. The true test was wearing it to ride my horse. I will definitely be purchasing another one because good sports bras are really hard to find when you have *ahem* a larger chest. There's an underwire and I was a little concerned about that because I thought it might chafe out this one didn't. Huzzah.

I'm not a huge fan of the yellow color because, well, I just don't like yellow. I checked out the Victoria's Secret website and they have a bunch of cool colors and patterns.

The socks are really cute, soft and stretchy. I don't know if I would really recommend them for running. They felt a little slippery in my shoes, so maybe they would be better for yoga or something. (Do people wear socks to yoga? I don't even know...) They're on the thinner side and I typically run in a medium weight running sock. If you prefer thin weight socks, check them out. They come in a lot of cool colors. I have a thing for socks, especially crazy, brightly colored socks. I'll try them on another run to see if I get used to them.

Thank you, Victoria's Secret and Influenster for letting me try this bra. I love it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sucker For Swag

You know what I hate? Any sort of run where you get messy. I was all about doing the Warrior Dash but then the whole jumping into a pit of mud and swimming under barbed wire obstacle happened and I was suddenly not a fan. Your only options afterward are to A.) let the mud dry on your skin and try not to ruin your car on the ride home or B) get doused by icy water from a fire hose. When I did the Warrior Dash in 2011, I opted for the icy water. Not a fan...regardless of how good looking the firemen were wielding the hoses.

The same goes for that soapy run thing where you run through foam and the increasingly popular color runs. I have less than zero interest in doing one of those color runs. They look fun for about a nano second and then you're messy and gross and no one wants you in their car.

But then I stumbled across this.

That bag. I need it.

Yes, suddenly I feel compelled to do this race because there's a free bag involved. Never mind that I have a zillion free bags and would likely never use this one, but now I must have that bag.

This is not a new thing for me. I'm pretty sure that I ended up signing up for the Goofy Challenge 2013 at the RnR San Diego simply because I had to have one of the runDisney sling bags. That bag is currently in my hoarder room (you may refer to it as my guest room) and I have never used it. I ran 39.3 miles in two days because of that stupid thing that I could have just as easily purchased on eBay, which is where I found this picture.

Totally not even a cool bag.

To this day, my favorite race swag is the cool PanAm bag I got from the expo at the Inaugural Tinkerbell Half Marathon. They were handing them out at the ABC booth. I love, love, love this bag and still use it all of the time.

Best bag ever.

I've also become a sucker for really great race shirts/jackets/hoodies, etc. The sole reason I dragged my sorry ass out to the Hot Chocolate Race in December the morning after a crazy Christmas party was to get the hoodie. The chocolate was great, but c'mon. I was totally there for the hoodie.

I did it all for the hoodie.

I'm convinced that if I was going to actually buckle down and try to qualify for Boston, the jacket would be the motivating factor. But not in orange. Gross.

Orange. Ew.

I can just see it now:

Runner 1: I ran Boston for my father/mother/hairdresser/therapist that survived cancer.

Runner 2: I ran Boston because it's a huge accomplishment.

Me: I totally ran Boston for the jacket.

Swag. I haz it.

Anyone else know of any great race swag that I MUST acquire?

 

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Do Or Do Not. There Is No Try.

Just trying is cool, too.

Yeah, just kidding. There's all sorts of things where I 'try' to do something, but you could also call that half assing it. I'm the queen of half assing. Or not even trying at all. Whatevs. I do what I want!

Why am I quoting Yoda, then? Because I signed up for the Star Wars Half Marathon like all of the other crazy, rabid runDisney fans out there. I managed to use restraint and not sign up for the Rebel Challenge.

After doing Goofy, Dumbo and Glass Slipper, I was #SoOverRaceChallenges. Especially after GSC. The weather was so humid and I just did not have fun. I think I'd rather try for a PR than slog my way through a challenge. I'm pretty sure I will be dressing as Darth Vader. No Princess Leia for this girl. It gives me an excuse to wear all black and not look as if I am a goth teenager in mourning. White just isn't my color.

I don't recommend googling "sexy Darth Vader" while at work. Apparently, topless female Darth Vaders is a thing.

I will NOT be wearing this.

I also found this. Hello Kitty meets Darth Vader? So weird.

 

I'm pretty excited to do the SW Half because the weather in January in Anaheim is perfect. Much better than the bipolar weather of Orlando.

In other news, marathon training begins for the NYC Marathon this weekend. I'll be honest, I haven't run in a month. Why, you ask? Because I still have a nagging hamstring strain and it's effing hot already. At least I won't begin training on fatigued, over trained legs. Of course, under trained legs suck, too, so there's that.

I also want to take up yoga solely because I want to buy this shirt and wear it everywhere. I don't actually want to do yoga.

 

 

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